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Use this guide if you need to make or change child arrangements (also known as contact, access or custody) with the other parent. For example, you may need to decide where your children will live or rearrange the times they see you.
This guide is for parents. There’s also help available for grandparents.
You could get up to £500 towards family mediation
This is a new scheme available for a short time only. It’s for people interested in working with a professional mediator to come to an agreement about child arrangements.
Find out more about the family mediation voucher scheme.
This guide contains help on:
The needs of your children should come first when you make child arrangements with the other parent.
Most children will feel more secure if they have regular contact with their parents and know where to get extra support if they need it. If they understand the situation you should involve them in the decision-making.
Parental responsibility is a term that means you have legal rights and duties relating to your children’s upbringing.
It doesn’t mean you have a right to spend time with your children (if you don’t live with them), but the other parent must include you when making important decisions about their lives.
Emotional support can help you get through the stress of making child arrangements.
You’re more likely to reach an agreement if you’re emotionally ready and know where to get support if you need it.
If there are no safety concerns, the cheapest and easiest way to make arrangements is to negotiate with the other parent. There are free tools and services that can help you.
You both still communicate and agree on the majority of issues but may benefit from using a tool such as a parenting plan.
Mediation sessions are run by professionals who help you try to reach an agreement without going to court. It isn’t relationship counselling and you don’t have to be in the same room as the other parent.
You both want to reach an agreement but need help from someone who is independent.
You don’t have to deal directly with the other parent if you choose this option. You hire a lawyer to negotiate arrangements for you.
Your relationship is still difficult and you’d prefer not to meet, or there’s a lack of trust.
Collaborative lawyers work with you and the other parent to resolve your issues out of court. You each hire a lawyer then all meet to negotiate face-to-face.
You can still communicate with the other parent but may have complex legal issues to resolve.
You’ll need to go to court if you’ve tried other suitable options and still can’t agree arrangements, or you’re worried about the welfare of you or your children.
You want a court to make a decision or you have concerns about domestic abuse or child abuse.
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